Bear Boy Band
by badgerlover1111
Summary: The bears become a famous pop band but Grizzly handles it fine but Pan-Pan and Ice Bear become major divas!


Disclaimer: I own nothing, this is fan fiction and all copyright goes to where it is needed. All uses of names are for parody purposes and not to be considered offensive. I am also aware it ends quite abruptly but Ive been working on this for a month and just wanted to finish it.

[INTRO]

We see Grizzly, Panda, and Ice Bear pulling out their phones (Ice Bear pulls out an iPhone, flip phone, telephone, and an old pay phone). The radio comes on and the DJ says that call in time is now time to call in to win tickets and Backstage passes to the Woodland Creatures concert. This is Grizzly's favorite band and his brothers want to help him see them.

"Caller twelve wins, call now!"

The bears all enter in their calls, Grizzly gets call waiting, Ice Bear gets an answer of whom tells him he is caller one, five, seven, and eleven. Panda's phone gets answered and is told that he is caller twelve. Panda didn't expect to win so he sighed and was about to hang up until Grizzly yanked the phone out of his paw and answered it. The three bears won the prizes and a limo comes outside and greets them and takes them to the concert. (Panda was curious as to why and how they got to the cave so quickly and how they even knew where they lived...)

Grizzly and Panda are sitting down and Ice Bear comes by with popcorn, nachos, hot dogs, cotton candy, lemonade, and pretzels. Panda tried to take a pretzel but Ice Bear said he needed to pay him first. Grizzly started shaking in his seat super excited for the show. Once the band comes up, they instantly start singing their hit song 'Make you Feel Wild'

"If you can move out, going everywhere,

You can find a new guy who can take you there,

Renegades take the wheel and drive all night,

I can move out there and make you feel wild!"

Grizzly started cheering and screaming, Panda started tapping his hand and foot along and got into it, and Ice Bear was crowd surfing.

"Man, I can't believe these guys are this good, and they even got a guest!" Grizzly said as we see someone step on stage.

"Ladies and bears, Estelle!" the lead vocalist introduced as they resang the chorus together (and Panda started looking at her with 'puppy dog eyes' thinking she is cute...)

The bears show the guard their laniards and go back stage. A girl tries to go back stage but the guard 'guides her in' to the door for people without passes. A boy then comes in with a clearly fake pass and the guard lets him in. The bears look around, Panda goes over to get Estelle's autograph (and waits in a long line) while Ice Bear starts putting various things in a bag with the words 'sell online for expensive prices'. Grizzly starts taking notice all the minute details of the back stage {the glittery wall paper, the carpet argil pattern, the chairs that recline and spin} and is amazed. He meets up with the group and actually handles it well.

"Wow, it's Woodland Creatures, I just gotta say, big fan, have two out of your three albums and three singles off the third, great show!"

The band welcomes Grizzly and thanks him for the compliment, and then Grizzly continues to compliment in a way that still seems rational. Eventually Grizzly starts singing the song again and is pretty on key, eventually his brothers start singing in and they harmonize well, the band actually praises them for it... which finally makes Grizzly act like a crazed fanboy.

"Hey, you know our label has been looking for a new band to sign, maybe you guys could try out."

"Yeah... that sounds great and all but I heard celebrities can't have friends so..." Grizzly began.

The band then all started laughing, "Oh you mean Nom Nom, don't worry, he's a diva, we hang out with lots of people in person..." The female member told them, followed by Grizzly fainting.

"Hey, you okay Grizz?" Panda asked.

"Ice Bear will give mouth-to-mouth..."

Then the girl who tried getting in earlier fell through the ceiling and made a big whole in it... A security guard then came to take her away and said she was lucky the concert house had a good insurance policy involving fangirls.

Back at the cave, the bears all put on different outfits for the band:

Grizzly dresses casually, a T-shirt with a half buttoned plaid over shirt and jeans.

Panda is dressed as a cowboy, the hat, the boots, and the vest.

Ice Bear is wearing a baseball hat under a hoodie and sweat pants with a chain necklace.

"Ice Bear is now Vanilla Ice Bear."

"Yeah... teens will relate to that..." Grizzly says but is obviously not meaning it due to having a dead pan tone and rolling his eyes. "Okay, so clearly we have different sounds, I'm pop rock with electronic rhythm, Pan-Pan?"

"I kinda wanted to go for a more folksy/western sound, one nice for country radio." Panda responded, then looked at Ice Bear.

"Vanilla Ice Bear wants some hardcore phresh beats with whack lyrics about life on the streets man."

Panda then whispers into Grizzly's ear 'he's trying too hard.'

"Okay so clearly we need to compromise, I think we can pull off an eclectic sound that has all our styles, so now all we need to do is write a song to show the record label." Grizzly said as he took out a note pad and a brief montage of the bears writing and getting inspiration.

"Okay... after four hours we have written two books... both of which are revealed to already have copyrighted stories... why is song writing so hard?" Panda asks.

"Here let's try this, I'll write the music, Pan-Pan, you write the lyrics and Ice..." Grizzly began until Ice Bear interrupted.

"Vanilla Ice Bear will make some calls and posts."

At the record label, two twin girls are singing a stereotypical Britney Spears ripoff song... only revealed to lip syncing... the song switches to a blues song with a man singing.

"The real girl actually can sing contrary to popular belief, you girls didn't help her, she has enough troubles, NEXT!" A Simon Cowell looking man scolded and announced the bears in with a heavy British accent.

"Hey, we're We Bare Bears and we're here to show you guys our new song 'Hiding in Caves'!" Grizzly yelled out as Panda took out a guitar, Grizzly took out a drum set, and Ice Bear drags in a heavy electronic piano.

The girl in the middle yells out that the bears are so cute and she loves them so much already in such a falsetto that makes the Randy Jackson guy cover his ears.

"Man bears, you got some style, but can ya make it worth while bears?" asked the Randy Jackson counterpart as he tried to take a drink of water... until he noticed the girl broke his glass...

"Now can you all play and sing? Because I already turned down people named Chloe Clarkson, Tarry Underwood, Paul Paulo, and Jodie Sparks for this, now show me what you got or else you will end up living out of a cardboard box begging for scraps of food from people with true talent walking down the red carpet that your taxes paid for!" The Simon equivalent exclaimed...

"Man Bear, you need to chill!" said the Jackson look alike.

The bears then start playing, Panda begins by playing his guitar softly as he begins singing in a western accent. The judges seem impressed by this (or two out of three, one is texting complaints... guess who). Once the chorus kicks in, Grizzly and Ice Bear start playing and singing along. The pace also picked up massively, Grizzly took over lead vocals in great strength, it caught the last judge's attention quickly. Ice Bear started beat boxing as he added piano, violin, recorder, and theremin sounds to it. The song ends with Grizzly taking Panda's guitar and smashing it... regretting this afterwards.

"Oh... Sorry Pan-Pan, I'll take it to the shop later."

The judges are stumped and shocked... eventually the girl starts shrieking and runs up to hug the bears, starting with Panda... making him smile and blush.

"Dang Bears, you guys got skill and style, I say you're in!" the first judge said, and the third looked embarrassed and handed them a recording contract.

Grizzly and Panda quickly rush over and sign their names. Ice Bear walks slowly behind and takes out a magnifying glass, "Vanilla Ice Bear always reads the fine print..." He then takes out a pen and scratches over the phrases 'must sell soul to record company' and 'can only eat cake on holidays', then signs his name. Panda looks over it and sees another part reading 'must give 99% of profits to the label' and questions why Ice Bear didn't scratch that off. "Vanilla Ice Bear thinks the labels work hard enough for it."

We then see a woman waking up from bed, goes to get coffee, complains about high income taxes and annoying insurance rates, and turns on her TV. A show called 'Get Up, Wind Down' a parody of the Today Show, and the hosts announce that their initial band, 'Katie and the Katies' had a lot of internal conflicts over fane and genre styles, so they went on permanent hiatus. The woman watching then said she knew it would happen eventually. The male host then announces their replacement, 'We Bare Bears'!

The bears then walk on stage and look nervous initially with all the cameras, well everyone except Panda surprisingly, who seems to be enjoying all the applause. He tips his hat and starts playing and singing a new song. The crowd cheers even louder, and some people hold out signs saying 'Pan-Pan is so cute!' (with the word 'Katie' scratched out...). Ice bear then starts beat-boxing to the same rhythm as the guitar and Grizzly began singing once the chorus kicked in, he apparently knows how to auto tune his own voice. The hostess of the show seems to enjoy this a lot as she is smiling creepily and her face is turning red... Ice Bear then jumps off to crowd surf... but he trips and breaks Panda's guitar...

"Vanilla Ice Bear will pay for another one." he says as he is lies down over broken wood.

The woman watching, with her husband and daughter, who is the girl who snuck back stage at the Woodland Creatures concert, are yelling in excitement:

"Oh my gosh mommy that panda is so cute!" the girl yells.

"And that polar bear reminds me of my old mix tapes from college, and that track suit is dope!" the man yelled.

"Mommy, what's a mix tape?"

The crowd is cheering for the bears, well mostly for Panda, but the others do have their fans clapping.

The host shakes Grizzly's paw and the hostess runs over and hugs Panda tight, and he thinks 'fame is awesome!'. Ice Bear then got up and threw his chain necklace with a dollar sign to a girl in the audience (she yelled out 'OUCH!)

A montage comes next showing various concerts, The bears are performing with new and better gimmicks such as tossing out teddy bears to the audience, (Grizzly and Panda's are free, Ice Bear charges $4) and extremely cute close ups on the TV screens above the performances. Panda takes in the applause way too much, and he gets extremely smug, while Ice Bear keeps dressing up more rapper like. Grizzly is the only one handling it normally and is upset of what divas his brothers are becoming.

The camera pans to a library where the bears are scheduled to do a book signing but are running late... (two kids are throwing fits so big the librarians are too afraid to yell 'Sshhh!') Eventually the bears arrive, starting with Grizzly, saying that their limo was low on gas because Ice Bear was taking it for spins of his own...

Flashback to Ice Bear driving the limo stopping at a red light next to another car, filled with cute girls and Ice Bear throws a paper air plane to them, and they unfold it having his phone number on it, then he drives off (the light still red...)

Panda then comes in and is talking on the phone, "Hey! The next time we agree to have our faces on a cereal box that we get 5% of the profits plus licensing of our image will increase at the same rate!" The kids then look confused and scared... "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE THOSE MARGINS!? You guys are name brands, you can afford me if you didn't waste all your money on those stupid toys nobody can ever find in the boxes! GOOD DAY!" he then throws the phone into the trash, saying it was obsolete and he will get the latest one tomorrow.

Grizzly looks embarrassed and begins to guide the kids over to the table and asks them to form a single file line, and nervously tries to make them forget what they just saw... (you can see the white parts of his eyes...) but then Ice Bear comes in... with a jet pack...

"Vanilla Ice Bear had to write six songs for other bands and pawn Panda's guitar to afford to rent this... Vanilla Ice Bear will pay him back." Ice Bear was letting the money go to his head... he should have just stuck to the multiple chain necklaces...

Grizzly is getting upset, he's mumbling words that if were not mumbled... their CDs would need parental advisory logos. He wasn't even paying attention to the books he was signing (he signed one 'Cheryl' and the other one 'Ice Bear', maybe they were better off being normal bears...

Months later, the bears met with the record company to talk about recording their second album and Panda had some demands and Ice Bear wanted a raise. The managers began talking about international touring and that Estelle is starting a European tour and she wants the bears to be opening acts. She herself then walked in and said how much of an honor it was to meet the band.

"Oh my goodness you guys are even cuter in person, it's so rare to see album covers without needing to photoshop." She says and winks at Panda, to which he ignores and rolls his eyes.

Grizzly shakes her hand and tells her that she was a musical inspiration and that they would love to tour with her and might even want her to be featured on a new single... or that's what he was about to say until Panda interrupted...

"Hey, Pan-Pan is not an opening act, I sold two double platinum singles and an album peaking at number 8 on the charts! If you want me to tour you need to put me on headlining! Make those two opening acts instead!" He yelled out, making Grizzly frown and Estelle seemed worried... "And managers, last time I checked I asked for a left handed guitar not a right handed one, I can't reach A minor's chord like this!" Panda then throws the guitar behind his back... almost hitting Estelle... and it breaks on the wall. "Oh wait that was the rental one... Oops..."

At that point, Grizzly had enough, it was time he put his paw down and put an end to all this, "You know what, I quit! Panda, you've become the biggest dive in the world, you made the chefs at a steak house fry an eggplant that you threw at a girl wanting your autograph!"

"Well my fans know that I only eat things tender and how else can you make eggplants tender?"

"And you Ice Bear... wait, where is he?" Grizzly asked.

Then Ice Bear threw some pebbles at the window and when the head manager opened the window (Ice Bear accidentally hit him on the forehead...) and revealed Ice Bear driving a car tricked out beyond belief... It was flying to the top floor of the building! "Vanilla Ice Bear needs gas money and for someone to so-sign the insurance papers."

Grizzly put his head high and stormed out right there with his dignity and pride. He slammed the door behind him but then walked back in and told gave Estelle his phone number then stormed out again. Once he closed the door behind him... he started crying hysterically as he ran past the hallway and threw his cloths off.

"Vanilla Ice Bear is happy he inked out him from the original contract, Vanilla Ice Bear doesn't want to pay for more lawyers." Then the managers all put their hands on their foreheads...

A sign then shows and says 'one year later' appears. The family from order then turns on their TV a show called "Where R They Now" comes on.

"Ugh this show's been going down sense season 4." The mom said.

On the screen, a woman begins talking about the bears one year anniversary of their break up and shows where Panda is now first,

"This cowboy Panda has had something of a wild ride over the time he got signed, from having three top twenty EPs and a hit duet with RnB singer Estelle, he seemed like a humble country singer, until last week when this video leaked, look and see..."

A video plays of Panda and Nom Nom appearing on a talk show, the host asks them casual questions, but when Nom Nom answers for Panda what his favorite food is... Panda yelled, broke Nom Nom's sunglasses, and threw his chair cushion at the camera man...

"Wow, can you believe how much wait that host gained?" The dad asked, oblivious to Pan-Pan's reactions.

"Vanilla Ice Bear had a string of gold certified singles and a top ten album... until he blew away all his profits and put himself in debt so strong his online funding accounts are in the negatives. He eventually scored a sitcom loosely based on his life called Vanilla Ice of Bel Bear and needs to use every pay check to pay back the record company."

A scene from Ice Bear's show comes up showing Ice Bear moving in with family in an igloo. The father of the house is yelling and demanding fish but Ice Bear was busy listening to his music.

"Grizzly has stayed out of the lime light for the longest time and hasn't made a public appearance aside from sitting front row of one of his brothers' concerts and caught crying and blowing his nose in front of them but they acted like they didn't see him, poor bear."

"Mommy, can I watch Cartoon Network instead?" the girl asked, "These bears are so last year!"

It was almost time for a concert and Panda and Ice Bear were nervous, feeling repentant and missing their brother, thinking they ruined their lives...

"Vanilla Ice Bear wants some chocolate..." Ice Bear said sadly, his sitcom ended.

Suddenly Grizzly walked right past the guards and went to his brothers, still crying and wanting to make up. Panda started out calm but he couldn't hold it in anymore and started crying too as he hugged Grizzly.

"I'm sorry I left the band and ruined everything you had!" Grizzly said sadly.

"No, no, it was our fault, we were the divas and you were the only one who kept us together this long, I'm sorry I was so demanding and wanted to hog all the credit!" Panda started crying much harder and they hugged tighter.

"Vanilla Ice Bear is dead, Ice Bear is back."

"Whataya say guys, one last show, as brothers?" Grizzly asked and the bears agreed happily and went on stage.

Another day and the bears were complaining about being normal again, but were happy to be together again, however Panda says he'll miss the luxury. Then they all left the cave and went into a limo and Estelle greeted the bears. They all were upset and the butlers gave them all smoothies as their hit song plays on the radio.


End file.
